Like A Fist

     Twenty years ago the message in the commerial was "Words Hit Harder Than A Fist."  It was geared toward domestic and child abuse.  Apparently, few people took this to heart, or perhaps, believed it.  I believed it.  Words had beaten the shit out of me all my life.  At school, and at home.  And yes, they leave scars.  Deep scars that never heal completely because the next word, and the next, keep tearing them open.  And for some reason, unlike physical scars, they don't get tougher.  Each painful word or phrase hurts just as much, or more than they did the first time.  And no one can see them.
     Or can they?  Self destructive behaviors are, many times indicative of verbal abuse.  Whether it is excessive piercing, tats, promiscuity, or drugs, it does show.  For me, it was alcohol and promiscuity.  After being told repeatedly by my father that no man would ever want me, that I was homely, lazy, stupid, I believed it.  I went bat-ass crazy trying to prove him wrong.  I thought of suicide many times before I was finally forced into seeing a doctor and a therapist.  I learned that I wasn't so bad.  But, it took years and years of therapy, and medication combos to get to the point I am, at age 50, believing I deserve what anyone else deserves.  To exist.
     There are several campaigns active right now to bring awareness to bullying.  Most are focused on the GLBT community, and the teens in it.  Of course, that is because, recently, the suicide rate in that demographic has risen at a shocking rate.  But, it is not just the GLBT community that is affected by the thoughtless, evil(?), tossing of hurtful words and phrases. 
     Try on these words and phrases....Cow, Fatty, Beanpole, Slut, Emo, Fag, Heifer, That's so gay, You're so queer, You run/catch/talk/ like a girl, She's so butch, Dike, Lesbo, Does your face hurt, cause it's killing me, You're a waste of air, Loser, Spoiled, If I want it done right, I have to do it myself, Waste, Stupid, Weeby, Rice Burner, and my personal favorite--Butter Butt.
   I almost wish I could say that only kids used these words, but I can't.  They learned these words.  From parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, older siblings.  The new campaign states that "it can start as a joke."  And I suppose, to some, the words are funny.  Unless they've been directed toward you.  Or maybe because they were directed toward you.  It   Ain't   Funny.  Period.
     A local school district is being sued by the family of an African American girl who was subjected to racism/bullying by her algebra teacher.  Get this.  The Caucasian teacher writes an algebra problem on the board.  The AA girl raises her hand and states that she doesn't understand it.  The C teacher tells her that of course she doesn't, "it's a White thing."  The C teacher then writes another problem on the board, and asks the AA girls if she understands it.  The AA girl asks "why because I'm black?"  The C teacher laughs and says "yes."  At what point did Algebra become a race issue?  And even if in some alter universe it was, how could a teacher--of any ethnic origin--belittle a student--of any ethnic origin--in in front of the entire class.  In the school, where children are sent to learn.
     I've preached this before.  Parents learn respect.  Google it if you need help.  Grandparents, come out of your "that's how we did it in my day" frame of mind, and learn from your kids.  Kids.  KIDS, talk to your parents if you feel hurt, talk to your peers if they are hurting someone.  Don't "go with the flow".  If you see hurtful, act, tell.  Don't let someone suffer the pain of verbal, but invisible fists, because you don't want to be next.  If enough of you stand up for the bullied, there will be no one left to bully!
   "It gets better", "stand up and be counted", "make a difference", "just do it".  There are positive messages out there too.  Grab them.  Embrace them.  Practice them.  To the recipients of the good deed..."Pay It Forward."  Someday, maybe some of the scars can stay healed.