Firstly, I trusted someone I'd never met. Actually, 5 of them. Or maybe it was one performing 5. I'm sure I'll never know. Scammers run amok on social media, dating sites, banking sites...you name it. Most, however, request some sort of money to help them, or join them. The scam I became entangled in, played with my good heart. They call the love scams "catfishing" scams. I suppose the one I was caught up in for two years is, perhaps, a cousin of that...maybe crappie-fishing.,
In previous posts, I have mentioned a family in California, that I became so close to, that when Karie got pregnant, they wanted me to be the grandparent on Josh's side, because his mother, Whisper, was unstable, and abusive. This was an overwhelming honor! The two years with them included soap opera like drama...constantly. My gut would whisper, "who has that much drama in their life?" My heart would say, "They need me". The gut suspicions started at the get-go, but, I always seemed to be able to justify the situation. And, then the hammer came down.
As Karie progressed with her pregnancy...twins...she would send me pictures of the ultrasounds. It was always an exciting day when she posted her ultrasound. And, being the proud, Grandma-to-be, I would repost. What I didn't know was, I had my own personal NSA doing background checks on everything I posted regarding them, on Facebook. The most recent post, the one of her 3-D ultrasound, was the one that proved to the world that I was a fool.
Almost as soon as I posted the ultrasound, a schoolmate posted information about a website that let you pick your own ultrasound. How many weeks along are you? Twins or single? We've got a fake for that. And, as much as I wanted him to be wrong, or at least have contacted me privately about it, there it was. The exact ultrasound Karie had just sent me. I remember actually blushing. At my gullibility, my trust...my being used for someone's good laugh.
I confronted Josh. He said he did it so Karie wouldn't know she'd lost one of the twins. I confronted Karie. She didn't seem anywhere near as upset as she should have. It occurred to me, that she never did. I asked Josh for answers. My friend found no trace of Josh, Karie, Whisper, or the two young boys that had supposedly died. Nothing. No names, no death certificates, no doctor licenses for Josh and Karie, and no Whisper. Why me? Was it for shits and giggles? Josh emphasized no, it was not for entertainment. The last message was his/her reason for two years of deception. "My home life really sucks, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could make my own to escape into." Alrighty, then. Unfriend, and block all five liars. If there are five. It's very easy to create a profile on Facebook. I even made one for my dog! Strangely, I didn't feel grief, other than how much it hurt to supposedly lose the boys. I hardly felt anger. I just wanted nothing to do with whoever it was immediately. I've not dwelled on it at all. It was a learning experience. Trust is not free.
The second "shoulda known" was forgetting that, on Facebook, the whole internet for that matter, there are eyes everywhere. A simple post of what I know to be true, was challenged by a friend of someone I referred to in the post. It was frustrating, as I am a writer, and hate being censored, but, I understood where he was coming from, AND, I'd gotten in trouble for doing this before. I rarely use names in my posts, but the nature of this thread had made it easy to know who I was referring to. I was sick to my stomach upon reading the confrontation. I believe they believed what they were saying. The thing is...well, it's that judging thing again. Until you have both sides of a story, just don't. And he did not.
He challenged why I haven't had a job in 17 years. His view makes sense. "You sit and Facebook all day, there should be some kind of work you can do." That truly is a good question. I felt he needed a little info on "why". I tried to explain Fibromyalgia, which is about as productive as stapling a board to snow. If a person has it in their head that it is not real, you can't change it. Believe me, I've tried.
The side he didn't know was that I was battling, not just Fibro, which is taxing enough, but Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (we're working on getting that title changed because it trivializes the illness), Osteoarthritis, Chronic Depression, BiPolar, ADHD, and anxiety. And as far as sitting on Facebook all day, I change positions dozens of times throughout the day due to the pain and numbness. I get up more than a dozen times a day (and night) to use the bathroom. I am dizzy, and fall every now and then. At times I sit and stare at the screen, wondering what I was thinking of getting up to do. I did have a job, short-lived, due to the "Fibro Fog" that makes completing a task, or "putting 2 & 2 together" a real struggle. Those things didn't get talked about much back in "the day", because my being on Social Security Disability was an embarrassment. As was my handicapped placard.
Through it all, I was raising two kids. Although, I have learned that it has been said that I did not. I'm still raising one, and I am proud of how we have grown in recent years. I am proud of him in a way that makes my heart want to explode. I fear, sometimes, that his view of women will be based on my bad days. The days that I am in such pain my teeth or my hair hurts. He once said something similar to my being strong, and my heart soared. He has been taught well by the adults in his life, and in the past months I have seen it in the way he treats his girlfriend. But, I digress.
There are things I should have learned years ago about what to, and what state I am in when I post. Posting on a trying day, sometimes bitter day, will only bring hard feelings and confrontation. And now it comes back to the trust issue. Is there anyone in cyberspace that can really be trusted? As I've gotten older, I tell it like I see or feel it. Because, trust it or not, cyberspace is always there for me.
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