I find myself with too much on my plate.  For a gal with a small plate, and usually little on it, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.
     It seems that people are becoming ill or passing at breakneck speed. My own Mother, included.  A friend that is a bit of a kindred soul that I met through Facebook, has just lost her mother. This saddens me deeply.  I suppose my mother's declining health figures into that sorrow, but I am hurting for her nevertheless.
     This morning, while watching a Sunday Morning show, tribute was paid to a long time writer, that passed earlier in the week.  It was also announced that two personalities from my childhood have cancer...one is now is Hospice care.  When did it become so, so common to hear the word cancer?  What has happened?
     A post on Facebook (what else?) asked for prayers for a very prominent Freeport couple involved in a car accident yesterday.  Not only is the woman, a local political force to be reckoned with, but she is Aunt to my classmates, Sister to my Mom's old boss.  Sometimes I think God must get overwhelmed with all the prayers being lifted up.  But, lifted up, they are.
     Every other Sunday my son returns home from a weekend with his Dad.  These are not easy days.  Once he actually get into the apartment, it seems to hit him that he is back in the land of "I'm doing the best I can."  And this can result in anger.  I try to tell myself he's not angry with me, just the situation, but when he is sullen or punching something that is broken, that I can not afford to replace right now, I feel an overwhelming cloud of guilt.  I truly am doing the best I can, living on Disability and Child Support/Alimony.  We live in a small, but attractive apartment, decorated nicely, tidy, but not always spic and span, and reeking of love.  Yes, that's me reeking. I know that deep inside of him he is not reeking, perhaps, but at least a little smelly with love.  But, he is a growing, hungry, hungry boy, and keeping snacky things here at all times is impossible.  He told me a tale of having four bowls of cereal at his Dad's and that is so "out there" for me, it's ridiculous.  All I can really do is hope that after his disappointment passes, he will recognize that "doing the best I can" isn't awful.
     On a different note, I am proud to say that I am a contributor to "Fibro Affirmations", a site to lend support to those of us fighting this frustrating disease.  So far, the pieces I have sent have been well received, and the page owner is happy with me. (Now if I could just get a paying gig)  As usual, I try to lend a bit of humor to our unpredictable disease.
     Last, but surely not least...after nearly being knocked over by the idea, I have started my own page on Facebook.  It is called "Bucket of Invisibles" and it is geared toward those fighting multiple and/or invisible diseases.  There are so many!  We all look untouched by illness, therefore we are ignored, made fun of, and called liars.  I felt this page was needed to give these people a place to visit that offers smiles, inspiration, and interaction with others fighting the same battle.  It has been one week and one day, and I have 62 "likes", and thousands and thousands of views.  I am, if I may be so bold, proud.  I feel I have a purpose.  I am able to give some relief, if even for a moment.
     All of these things racing through my mind, are tugging at my heart and mind.  And believe me, having a cluttered mind is a Fibro fighter's demise!  So I thank you for letting me share a piece of my clutter, therefore lightening my mess!
    Deep breaths....this is life.