A New Beginning...Again

     I sit here gazing out at a blinding, white fog.  The temperature is supposed to hit 50 degrees.  In December.  In the Midwest.  Such crazy weather we've had this year.  Such a crazy year!
     My 2010 brought pain--physical and emotional, stress (where da money at?), and new friendships.  Some,  not "new" so much as revived.  Some, new friendships with old acquaintances.   And some, brand spanking new friendships with people I have never, or will ever, meet.  I've learned that you can learn something about a person by how they play the game.  Whether the game is life, or Farmville, if you play nice people will respond positively.  Such a simple philosophy, yet, at times, so hard to follow.
     During this year, there were many, many days filled with tears.  Fear exploded from me in panic attacks...one that lasted three months.  Because of the stress, my pain levels stayed in the upper echelons, making even the small things into great obstacles.  But, I found that friends and family were ever-giving, ever-supportive.  I realized, day in and day out how blessed I am!
     I turned 50 this year.  And, I feel a confidence that I wish I'd had when I was in my twenties.  They say youth is wasted on the young, well, I wonder if wisdom if bestowed too late in life!  Oye, if I'd only known then what I know now!  Funny, but true!  I've learned that I am strong...have been for quite some time.  I am talented, which I knew, but did not feel free to share.  I love with intense passion, which makes my fall back to reality a hard fall.  But, after that hard fall, I've discovered that I can pick myself up and march forward...building a slightly thinner wall than before.  I've always known my sense of humor was a gift, but I've learned when I'm using it as a cover-up, and when I'm being just plain silly.  Oh, I love being silly!  And I've learned that 50 really IS the new 30!  Lookout future, this woman is hot!
     This day is also the end of a decade.  I've gone through all the modern-day textbook things.  Divorce, loss of home, raising a teenager, moving to a new town, then moving to a new place in that town, losing pets, losing loved ones, and...surviving.  Surviving!  It does'nt seem like the Y2K scare was ten years ago.  Hmmm, I wonder if there was a Y1K scare?  Sorry, Bi-Polar moment, there.  The point is, I suppose, that so very much can happen in a decade--in a year.
     Today, I will look at the stark white fog as a whiteboard.  A clean slate.  A place to write new experiences, quests, and love.  When the fog clears it will be a new day.
     I hope this new year and decade bring wonderful things for my son and me.  I pray it brings endless blessings to my friends and family.  The year will be 2011.  An adventure awaits!

Imagine

     While reading, visualize this situation, feel the emotions...


     Imagine being young and innocent, and striking up a deal with someone you don't know, but have heard wonderful things about.  Imagine knowing that this decision will make you an outcast.  Imagine trying to convince--pleading with--the man you've pledged yourself to that you have not been with anyone...ANYone!  Imagine loving this man all the more when he realizes that you are being honest--that he must help you fulfill this "deal."
     Imagine a journey in the heat.  Riding on a donkey, while nearly ready to deliver your part of this deal.  Your fiance' guiding you over rocky terrain; through empty lands.  Imagine your fear and desperation.  Imagine second guessing your decision over and over again.  Imagine seeing that fear in the eyes of your love.
     Imagine the joy of seeing the village you were instructed to visit, only to find no one willing to help you.  When your only hope of shelter appears, you are excited!  Then you learn they can not help you because all of their rooms are full.  Not even room in the lobby.  The delivery is at hand.  You are terrified.  Imagine the owner of the establishment offering you shelter in the only place he can think of.  Imagine your fiance' rushing, clumsily, to arrange hay for you to lay on.  The animals rustling as your delivery arrives.
     Imagine holding your baby for the first time.  Imagine your joy, your fear, your overwhelming love.  Imagine looking around you and seeing light.  It is a bright, warm light full of love and promise.  Even the animals are smiling. 
     The deal you struck was with God.  The delivery you made was the King.  The payment you receive is God's appreciation...the World's exultation!
     Christ is born!  The world is full of promise!  Imagine the possibilities!
     Imagine.....